My husband and I’s wedding vows were pretty traditional. Variations on the stuff about sickness and health, richer and poorer, faithfulness ’til death do we part. What they really should have included is a clause about taking out each other’s contact lenses when habañero peppers have been touched that day (otherwise, mind-numbing ocular pain ensues). Because that’s about as intimate as you can get to another human being, yes? Literally sticking your fingers onto somebody elses’ eyeball to grab their contact.